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We remind the people who train with us to ask themselves these questions regularly…

What are you willing to live for?

What are you willing to fight for?

What are you willing to die for?

Knowing these answers will help you decide how to handle potential threats. We work on scenarios often. Beginning with situational awareness, we train what to look for that could indicate a threat from a distance. Nobody can be completely aware at all times. Nobody. We each have distractions every day that will take our attention away from our environment. At some point in our lives, it is almost a guarantee that each of us will face a threat. Ideally, we will be able to see it coming in time to stop it.

There are basically two types of potential threats you may encounter: a bad guy having a good day or a good guy having a bad day.

You are a woman, traveling alone, and the only gas station available is dark and in the middle of nowhere. While your back is turned to reach for trash to empty from your car, a man twice your size sneaks up on you and asks you uncomfortable questions. You blow him off as a creep, then try to get back into your car. Before you can get in, he grabs you and starts trying to take you to the “second location.” He is a bad guy who just found an easy target, and is having a good day. You are on your own, and nobody can help you except yourself. Are you ready for this fight?

You cut off someone in traffic, maybe not even realizing it. When you get to the store parking lot, a man parks behind you, gets out of his car, and comes toward you, yelling. He’s not a predator, but he’s a potential threat. Maybe you didn’t even cut him off at all, but he has had relationship and financial problems at home for months, and today he just lost his job. On his way home, you were just there for him to take his frustrations out on because he perceived you to inconvenience him. In his mind, he is a victim. He is active in his church, he coaches his daughter’s soccer team, and he drives a minivan. But in this short moment in time, he is your biggest threat. How will you deal with him?

These two scenarios are very different, and they must be handled differently. Good guys having bad days have the potential to be de-escalated. He didn’t start the day thinking that he was going to pick you as a target. He wasn’t looking for any target at all. With training on how to deal with these types of threats, you have a good chance to get away from the situation without any repercussions. But it takes practice, knowing yourself and how you will deal with something like this before it even happens. De-escalation is not likely to work on a bad guy having a good day. He has probably already had successful attacks, has been planning this one, and knows how to find an easy target. This is a situation that must be physically handled, as soon as you realize this is an imminent threat. Action is better than reaction, and action with intent will significantly increase your chances at survival, especially if you are able to get the first strike.

As you train to prepare for these situations, think about the questions we ask the people who train at Grit. Somewhere, someone, at some time is depending on you to get home safely. If you didn’t survive a situation today, what kind of lives would your family, friends, pets have tomorrow, next year, in five years…? Every person makes a difference to someone. You have a purpose. What are you willing to live for? What else is important to you? Would you fight over a parking spot? Would you fight to protect a stranger? What are you willing to fight for? Is it worth it? What reasons would you risk your life? What are you willing to die for? Knowing ahead of time how you want to respond, and practicing that response, will help you decide how you will fight – or how you will avoid a fight.